Come and See by The Rev. Dr. Tara W. Bulger

This was Dr. Bulger’s first sermon at First Presbyterian Church of Huntsville, given March 5, 2018.

Four or five years ago, when my youngest daughter was six or seven, the night before I was to preach at a new church, she sidled up to me and said, "Mom, what's the shortest sermon you could give?" And I said, "God is love." And she said, "Good. Remember that tomorrow." All that to say, if you need someone to commiserate with, she is available after the service.

Friends, a reading from John's Gospel, the first chapter, verses 35-51:

The next day John again was standing with two of his disciples, and as he watched Jesus walk by, he exclaimed, "Look, here is the Lamb of God!"

The two disciples heard him say this, and they followed Jesus. When Jesus turned and saw them following, he said to them, "What are you looking for?" They said to him, "Rabbi" (which translated means Teacher), "where are you staying?" He said to them, "Come and see." They came and saw where he was staying, and they remained with him that day. It was about four o'clock in the afternoon. One of the two who heard John speak and followed him was Andrew, Simon Peter's brother. He first found his brother Simon and said to him, "We have found the Messiah" (which is translated Anointed). He brought Simon to Jesus, who looked at him and said, "You are Simon son of John. You are to be called Cephas" (which is translated Peter).

The next day Jesus decided to go to Galilee. He found Philip and said to him, "Follow me." Now Philip was from Bethsaida, the city of Andrew and Peter. Philip found Nathanael and said to him, "We have found him about whom Moses in the law and also the prophets wrote, Jesus son of Joseph from Nazareth." Nathanael said to him, "Can anything good come out of Nazareth?" Philip said to him, "Come and see." When Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward him, he said of him, "Here is truly an Israelite in whom there is no deceit!" Nathanael asked him, "Where did you get to know me?" Jesus answered, "I saw you under the fig tree before Philip called you." Nathanael replied, "Rabbi, you are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!" Jesus answered, "Do you believe because I told you that I saw you under the fig tree? You will see greater things than these." And he said to him, "Very truly, I tell you, you will see heaven opened and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of Man."

The Word of the Lord. Thanks be to God.

Come and see. I love this passage. Jesus doesn't draw Nathaniel in by telling him the five doctrines John Calvin will later formulate. Jesus doesn't give Nathaniel a lengthy explication of the prophets or the law. Jesus just says, "Come and see." And they go and see where he lives; they follow him around. This biblical passage is the story of Nathaniel coming to faith, and so on this morning, when you have a new preacher, I thought I would share with you my story of coming to faith because all faith stories are two things.

One, they are stories of the living God at work in someone's life. It's never about the person. It's about the work of the Holy Spirit, calling them to God. The second thing is that all preaching is really testimony, and by testimony, I mean, "do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth." That's what preaching is. It is telling the truth. So I thought we would start with me telling you the truth about who I am. The story starts out a little sad and dark, but it gets better. I promise you.

I grew up in western North Carolina. And there was this demon in my family. The demon was addiction, and if that sounds shocking to you, I need you to know that at least 20 percent of all children grow up with active addiction in their home. Twenty percent, and I'm going to bet that's a conservative estimate. We read about demons in the Old Testament, and living with someone who is in active addiction is like living with someone who has a demon. It changes everything about your life. It is scary. It is being forced to live in constant chaos.

But I also had these grandparents who were this stable force in our lives, and about two or three times a year when I would visit with them, we would go to their church. Their church is a small mountain Baptist church. In the eighties, this church withdrew from the Southern Baptist Convention because it was too liberal, so that just gives you an idea of the church that I saw as a kid. I did not go often, but I would attend that church when I was with my grandparents. I would sit in that church as a kid, and I knew that the lovely people in those pews were having an experience of God. I knew that they believed in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I knew that it changed their lives for the better, and I wanted that experience. I wanted it with a longing that words could not describe. And it wasn't happening because I had to go back home to the chaos and the fear of my life with my alcoholic mom. And you know what? At about age 11, I figured out that God must love only some people and not. I knew God loved those good people in the pews, but I also knew that God was not in my home. And so I decided that God loved some people and didn't love others, and it was really a shame that I was on the wrong end of that equation. I went into my teenage years with so much anger and rage. There's just no other way to say it. When the biblical text says, "can anything good come out of Nazareth?" I remember my 13-year-old self who carried around this question, "Can anything good come out of this life if God does not even love me?"

But God's providence is real. Because I had these people around me who were people of faith, and they loved me even though I was angry. They loved me a lot, and they invited me to their churches, and I would always say no, but I did come and see who they were, and I knew that they were good and loving people, and I thought maybe, just maybe there's something to this life of faith.

However, if you are an angry teenager, I highly recommend high school debate. You will find your place. It paid for my way to the University of Georgia. My whole life, I thought if I could just move out of my mom's house, if I could just get to college, everything would be OK. So off to the University of Georgia I went. And everything wasn't OK because I didn't know how to care for myself. I had no one to rely upon, and within about two or three years, I felt pretty broken.

And this lovely woman I worked with suggested the strangest thing when she heard that I was struggling. She said, "You should try prayer." And I thought, "let's not get crazy." But brokenness can lead you to try things you would never have before, so I sat down and prayed. I remember going back to her the next day, and I said, "It didn't work. I tried it, and nothing happened." She kindly explained to me that praying is a way of life and that praying is something you do over and over again. So I kept at it, and I discovered that God was there. God was there. It took a long time, and I can't pinpoint when it happened, but somehow in being willing to open myself up to God, I came to know God. There came a day when I could say the greatest truth of my life: that God knows me completely and loves me anyway.

In this passage, when Nathaniel comes to Jesus and Jesus says, "I saw you sitting under the fig tree before Phillip called you." It may be that Jesus was able to bend space and time and saw Nathaniel, but Augustine said that it's the fig leaf that matters. Remember, it's the fig leaves Adam and Eve wore after they had sinned. What Jesus was saying was, "Nathaniel, I have seen your sin, and I love you anyway." And there came a day for me where the Lord God said, "Tara, I have seen you. Every part of you, and I love you." It is the single most life-changing truth of my life.

At this time, Brian and I are newly married, and one day I tell him, "I've got this crazy idea. I want to go to church." I thought for sure he would think I had lost my mind. I mean, we had never even talked about religion. But he leaned over, put his hand on my knee, and said, "I've just been waiting on you to be ready."

Thanks be to God. That's all you need to know about my husband. He's the best, and we began to visit different churches, looking for our place. I wanted to talk to someone about this life of faith, but we did not have a community for that yet. I longed for someone to tell me about their faith so I could grow in mine. During that time, I volunteered at an assisted living facility. On my first day volunteering, the director asked me to read to a resident. The man was blind, and he had received a letter, and I was to read it to him. So I walk into this 94-year-old man's room. He has on a wool sweater, and the heat is up so high that the candles have melted in their candelabra; all of the candles are melted over to their side; that's how hot it was. And I sit down, open up the letter, and discover that it is 20 pages long. I thought, "Well, it seems like I will be here a while!" I begin to read, and I discover that the letter was sent to him by someone he goes to church with, and it was that man's faith story. The man told of his life--and his beginnings were a lot like mine--and he had an experience of God. And I began to cry. It was everything I wanted to hear. I remember thinking, "Lord, I know it's wrong, but I'm grateful he's blind so that he can't see all the tears." I finally heard words of faith and hope when I needed them most.

Brian and I finally found our church. First Presbyterian Church of Athens welcomed us with open arms. We went to every worship service, every class. We didn't have children yet, so that we could do that. We met and became close to an older couple: Mr. and Mrs. Elkins. They were in their eighties, and they loved Brian and me. They scooped us up. We had dinner with them every Wednesday at church, and about a year and a half after joining, in a Sunday school class we were in, Mr. Elkins began to tell about his coming to faith. And as he told his story, I realized he was the man who wrote that letter I had read a few years earlier. He had written the letter that gave me hope and sustenance when my faith journey was just starting. When I needed to hear a word from God, and I got it in the most unusual way, it was because of Mr. Elkins.

First Presbyterian of Athens, Georgia, was the church that welcomed us and many years later, they were also the first to say, "We think you might have gifts for ministry." And I said, "I'm sure you're wrong." But six years later, when I went off to seminary, that church loved and supported me every step of the way.

Friends, faith is simply what you do between the last time you experienced God and the next time you experience God. Creeds, confessions, and church doctrine are important, but more than that, I hope that you can just come and see. Come and see this life of faith. Come and see my life, and you will see a God that is still alive and still speaking to God's people. When I got that phone call back in November from this guy named Marshall, who had a last name I couldn't pronounce, and when I talked to him on the phone, I felt like God was asking me just to come and see. Come and see this church community. I have experienced here that this is a church made up of a diverse group of people united in their love of God and one another. That's what this church is, and I want to be a part of it. I am grateful that I have been called to this church. I am grateful that we have a Lord God who still speaks and still works, and together as a church, I hope that we will continue to be a place where we and others have an experience of God. Just like Nathaniel, who thought nothing good could come out of Nazareth, and yet he met the living God. Thanks be to God for the love and the saving grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, who calls us to be family together. Now may others come and see. Amen.